im six kinds of drunk right now
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
