People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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