she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
