yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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