Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
