I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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