the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize