found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
