i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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