you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
