so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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