so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
