I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Too much gin, very little bucket
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
