Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
