It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
