you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
