All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
