is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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