we have pet lesbian snakes
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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