I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
