I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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