It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize