My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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