I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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