I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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