We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
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I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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