I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
