where am i from again
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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