i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
