Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize