I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
