he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
