The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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