we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
