Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When are your genitals available?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
