with your own penis?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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