I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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