idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
