people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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