no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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