Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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