You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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