I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
