My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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