I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
