Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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