i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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