Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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