Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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