You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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