she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
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Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
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That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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