a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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