I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
