i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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