And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
