Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize