yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
