I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
