I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
